Who am I?

We all go through life trying to find ourselves. We try to figure out who we are. Constantly trying new things. Experiencing new opportunities. Building up the person we believe we should be, good or bad. And doesn't it always seem that as soon as we are happy with where we are, complacent with the path we are on, life drops the other shoe? It turns our lives upside down, inside out, and makes us reevaluate everything.

I've been thrown a few curve balls that have been difficult coming to terms with. 

At 15, I was diagnosed with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Its a rare chromosomal disorder that affects sexual development. I'll go into more detail in another post to follow, because it is pretty complicated. Basically I was born with male chromosomes (team XY), but because of a mutation on my Y chromosome, I developed like a normal female. Needless to say, as a freshman in high school, this was a huge hurtle to overcome. 

At 23, my dad committed suicide. He and I had a strained, and complicated relationship. I resented him for so much pain he caused in my childhood, but none the less, I still loved him unconditionally. I lost him before we were able to hash out all of our problems. That is something I have to live with, as well as coming to terms with the fact that he dies alone. 

When 27 came around, I began noticing the first signs. It was slow at first, and attributed it to being over worked. I figured working 2 jobs had been wearing me down. I thought maybe I was anemic again. I questioned thyroid problems. Checked my cortisol levels, thinking maybe I had adrenal fatigue. Tested for gluten intolerance and celiac disease. Wondered if maybe I had mono, again. At one pointed, I questioned if maybe it was cancer. I was desperate for answers. I needed validation for the weak muscles, body aches, fatigue, irritability, and numerous other symptoms. I saw my primary care physicians on the regular, went to an infectious disease doctor, and finally a rheumatologist. I finally had an answer to my questions. But gained a hundred more. The rheumatologist confirmed, I have fibromyalgia. That day started my journey as a Fibro Warrior.