Sour Lemons

The past few weeks have been exceptionally rough as far as fibro goes. My energy is at an all time low. I find myself doing absolutely nothing on my days off, because I feel like I need to re-coup from my busy days. So therefore nothing gets done around the house. I can't tell you the last time I went grocery shopping, or tackled a bunch of cleaning. Thank goodness for my awesome boyfriend! He has been a trooper during these exhausting weeks.

So, as I was lounging around yesterday, I was binge-watching TV, and got caught up on some of my series I like. One of which being This is Us. And I was reminded of the time in the series where the father is given advice from the doctor about the loss of one of their children. Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way comparing being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia to losing a child during birth. But it's more of the wisdom that the old doctor had. That you were dealt one of the most sour lemons life has to offer, but you can choose to try and make something that resembles lemonade. This really hit me. I had been letting my new diagnosis be somewhat of an excuse for being lazy. Sure I feel like crap all the time. But I am able to manage just fine when it comes to something that I have to do, like going to work. Why am I allowing myself to be a couch potato on my days off? Because I don't have a driving force to get going on my days off. I don't have anything that NEEDS to be done right away. And because I keep reading that its more important to take it easy with fibro. To not overdue it. But no one talks about the balance of taking an hour break, or a 24 hour break.

The couple days leading up to this discovery where very busy and exhausting. On Monday, I had worked a 12 hour shift in the Chemistry department, which meant I was on my feet a lot. Walking a total of 5 miles according to my Apple Watch. On Tuesday I worked an 8 hour shift in the same department, but was unable to take a lunch. Just a 20 minute break in the morning for breakfast. I finally ate lunch around 3:30pm. And had an hour drive to run in a 5K race, celebrating PI day. So for Tuesday, that was a total of 8.3 miles! And we did not get home until 8:45pm, and my bedtime is usually 8:30. I was pretty tired, but I let that be a reason for doing absolutely nothing! I became pretty upset with myself, and when I do that, I usually start feeling sick to my stomach.

So from now on I am going to work better at making my sour lemon a little sweeter. I am going to figure out something that I HAVE to do on my days off, to get me off the couch, and get me moving. My boyfriend has pointed out, that I'm tired no matter what. It doesn't matter if I ran 9 miles that day, or worked 8 hours and worked out, I always feel exhausted. So on my days off, there is no reason why I shouldn't push myself to get some things accomplished! I know I am just in a bad flare, but I have goals for myself, and I'm not going to reach those goals by sitting on the couch all the time. Just some of the time ;)